It was summertime, the birds were chirping
The sun was shining and all the pretty girls were out
But there’s another thing that summertime brings and that’s crime
Bikes were disappearing left and right
Statistics showed that if you didn’t have a bike lock
You had about a 75% chance of your bike getting stolen
Around here the only thing with more street value than a bike, is candy
And if you’re selling the right product
You best believe James is buying
Word on the street was
James had been living with some old guy named Mr. Kane
Nobody knew much of anything about Mr. Kane
Except that James was selling the stolen bikes right out of the old guy’s shed
Anyways, me and Mike wanted our bikes back
And we wanted them back now
See, James was moving bikes so quick
That if you didn’t get to him within a couple of weeks
It’s a good chance your bike had already been sold
Well, it had been a year since me and Mike had our bikes stolen
But I had a good feeling
That our bikes were locked up in Mr. Kane’s shed
With the rest of — With the…
Dave, I can’t, I can’t read your stinking writing
What does that even say
It had been a whole year since our bikes got stole
And I ran that go-kart into a telephone pole
We hated James but this just made us hate more
Cause for the last year, we’ve been riding skateboards
Friggin' skateboards, I would rather walk
Do I look like Tony Hawk
(no)
That’s what I thought
Do I look like Rob Dyrdek
(no)
Thank God
Do I look like Brad Pitt
(no)
Are you sure
We knew exactly where James hid the bikes at They were stashed in the shed right out back
We threw on our bulletproof vests and our snap backs
And we plotted our attack and ate snak paks
I told Mike grab the sling shot
Take this sock and fill it with about sixteen rocks
Meet me at the spot in about ten minutes
And Mike, don’t forget the spinach
Hey you, stop freeze
Hands in the air
Get down on your knees
Don’t make us have to fight back
Cause you won’t really like that
We just want our bikes back
Me and Mike took off towards the shed while
Visions of pedal bikes danced in our heads
All through the town, kids lined the streets
They couldn’t wait to see James get beat
We got to the shed and we kicked down the door
Two guards came out and they both had swords
But my homeboy Mike was there to save the day
He fired two rocks and he blew them away
But hold up cause it wasn’t over yet
James snuck up and he punched me in the head
Grabbed Mike’s hair
And he punched him in the eyebrow
He said I’m keeping all the bikes
Cause they’re mine now
We were losing bad
And we were getting laughed at But then Mike pulled something out his backpack
Of course, that old can of spinach
I looked at James and said you’re finished
Hey you, stop freeze
Hands in the air
Get down on your knees
Don’t make us have to fight back
Cause you won’t really like that
We just want our bikes back
Next thing we knew
James pulled out a can of spinach too
I looked over at Mike and said
Now what do we do
We should have known
He would have his own can
Jeeze
We should have seen thing coming man
Mike said James could we just work something out
It’s been a whole year
Could we just have them back now
And James said
Sorry guys, I’ve got some bad news
I sold both your bikes
To Billy Smith last June
But how about this
I’ll make you guys a deal
You can have that pink bike there
And that Big Wheel
I said Really James? Really?
First you steal our bikes
Then you sell them both to Billy?
I can’t ride a big wheel
Do I look like I’m nine
Mike said here bro, you can have mine
It’s pink dude
I ain’t going to ride that girly bike
It ain’t fair Mike
I really hate my life
Hey you, stop freeze
Hands in the air
Get down on your knees
Don’t make us have to fight back
Cause you won’t really like that
We just want our bikes back
Yeah
You can’t — you can’t always get your bikes back
But you at least got to try to get them back
Sometimes if you get your bike stolen
It will get sold or something
But you still got to keep your head up Peace