Lyrics
The night was going perfectly, mi amor. We were having a romantic Mexican meal.
Or Cali-Mex… Cali-Mex-Italian…
I don’t really know what this food is! But our time together was cut short by
the enemy of romance…
La la, la la la!
It was a group hang, group hang
You’re so far away in a group hang!
A group hang, group hang
Do we really need all these nachos?
It was an intimate date
Just you and me
At a magical place
Where refills are free
Then your buddies showed up
And tore us apart
They’re forces of evil
A knife through my heart
Salsa, burritos, taquitos, guacamole pizza!
A group hang, group hang
You’re just out of reach in a group hang
A group hang, group hang
I’m so afraid of horses!
Now you’re telling a story
'Bout some dude named Jeffwad
And the time he «sprooshed»
Whatever that means
Feeling left out, so I jump in and say:
(spoken)
I had a friend named Jeff once. He took bad mushrooms and jumped off the room
of our dorm.
(sung)
It was a group hang, group hang
It just got weird in this group hang
Group hang, group hang
It makes me so sexy sad
Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Español, arriba!
Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Español, arriba!
Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Español, arriba!
Guadalaraja, Sicily!
That’s not in Mexico!
Corned beef enchilada, pickle taco
Salsa verde cheesecake, bacon tamale
Root beer margarita, taco stew
Does the chef know what Mexico is?
A group hang, group hang
What’s this smoky tortilla soup thing?
I mean, really, am I crazy? There are—I know there are people of Hispanic
descent working at this restaurant.
(sung)
A group hang, group hang
(spoken)
How are they not offended, with the bastardization of their culture?
Is it just me? Maybe it’s just me.
(sung)
You’re so far away at a group hang
(spoken)
I feel like I’m being gaslighted by this restaurant.
(sung)
A group hang, group hang
(spoken)
Y ahora la parte más temida de andar con el grupo. ¡El cheque!