Kid #1: I was starving in the poorhouse
Where they fed us twice a year
And they tossed me out the day I asked for more
King Richard: Aw
Kid #1: And your dad brought me to your house
And he gave me bread and beer
Also everything you left here in your drawer!
Galavant: Wait. What?
Kids: He was there!
He was there!
Kid #1: Gave me all your underwear
Kids: With his sweet, loving care
He was there!
Galavant: Got to be kidding me
Kid #2: I was carried off by slavers
Where my parents died of pox
And they sold me to be rendered into glue
King Richard: Ew!
Kid #2: Then your dad did me two favors
First he cleaned their freaking clocks
Then he gave me all the gear he gave to you!
Galavant: Hey, that’s my favorite hat!
Kids: He was there!
He was there!
Kid #3: Random backflip in the air!
Kids: Yeah!
Kid #4: So much more…
Kid #5: Love to spare…
Kid #6: Such a gem!
Kid #7: Such a--
Galavant: Stop!
I was practically abandoned
By that smug and selfish jerk
It’s like nothing that I did was quite enough
King Richard: That’s rough
Galavant: First, his ego’s out of hand
And all he cares about is work
And I can’t believe he gave you all my stuff!
Kid #8: What?
Kid #5: No!
Kids: He was there!
Galavant: Never there!
Kids: He was--
Galavant: Never, ever there!
Kid #5 + Kid #8: Sweet and kind
Galavant: Au contraire!
Kid #9 + Kid #10: He’s a saint!
Galavant: Not a prayer!
Nasty and cold-hearted
Such a pig, don’t get me started
He’s a schmuck!
He’s a schmo!
He’s the worst!
I should know!
He’s my dad!
He’s a cad!
He’s right behind me. Isn’t he?